Pondering

Have you ever had one of those days that makes you question your role in this world?  Your value as a human being?  Have you ever wondered what in the world you are doing?  In your family life, in your professional life, in your life in general.  I have been pondering those questions lately.  Not sure why.  Maybe a mid-life crisis??  Maybe it's the empty nest syndrome that is looming before me. 

Lauren moving out and Scott going in the next month or two to live in Chicago has really hit me hard.  I am talking ton of bricks.  I have been a mom all of my adult life.  Trying to figure out who I am now.  I feel like I lost myself and don't really know who I am anymore.  I think as mom's we get so wrapped up in our childrens lives that we tend to lose ourselves.   At least, I have. 

I am having a super hard time letting go.  I know it is time but I am not ready.  Not ready for Lauren not to be here every night.  Not ready for Scott to go to Chicago to find a job.  Definitely not ready for him to move so far away from me. 

Not sure I am ready to just be me again.......

I better get ready.  It is coming whether I am ready or not.

Just rambling.....(no reason to worry mom and dad).  

xoxo
K